Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Say something about gay babies.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
