Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
