who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
