I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
The air was thick with penises
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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