we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
