We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
