She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
