Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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