Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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