I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
