are you so shy because you have an std?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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