Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
