i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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