just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
