My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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