i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
