I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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