...so i touched it.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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