Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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