i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
