Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
