conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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