You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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