R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
