omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm sobbing to NWA
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
