I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
