So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
