Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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