You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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