Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
