p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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