That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
