New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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