i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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