Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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