listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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