I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
