something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
