Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I am midnight drunk by noon
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
