hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
When did angry sex become our thing?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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