Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
