Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
