Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
