I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
