I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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