I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
