she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
