oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
