There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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