walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
