i wish peter jackson would direct porn
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
