Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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